Monday, October 26, 2015

I was struck by a recent episode on one of my favorite talk shows... Dr. Phil .. This is very sad to say the least .. but in this recent episode about a pretty abusive Mother that originally showed up on an earlier episode with anger issues and had two Daughters that were living around these issues .. She then returns for this new episode .. one Daughter had really turned her life around and is growing in a positive direction  and is doing awesome and the other is the more difficult.  She had no intentions of growing any further in a positive direction .. and her Mother decided to give her choices .. of college, job or volunteer ... somewhere to help others .. This Daughter .. decided on none of these ... instead decided to spend her life on the streets...panhandling ..  basically homeless .. But what bothered me the most .. was that she blamed her mother for HER DECISION .. Yes, her Mother wasn't right in her earlier behavior ... but apparently is now progressing on a better path .. She was given a choice .. which a lot of us just we're given that luxury .. As a Mother as I see it .. these kids these days seem to grow up with a strong entitlement that the world owes them something .. that they don't really need an education or a job .. or any kind of work ethic.. I'm seeing quite a lot of that lately .. I have a dear friend whose Daughter who has just recently been arrested this past week and now has been brought up on murder charges amongst other serious charges.  She is described as a "drifter" in the exact same area as the Daughter of the woman on Dr. Phil.. This area is described as a very high area for transients .. or drifters.  This young 18 year old woman .. barely a woman .. pretty much still a child herself .. has given her family problems from a very young age riddled with drug abuse, delinquency ... and as they say.. just was always hanging out with the "wrong crowd." It was a pretty troubled home... This is just so horribly sad .. as I know no one is perfect and I know for a fact that her Mother has always tried to do the right thing ... but it takes both parents ... Children don't seem to be brought up in a loving nurturing home and seem to act out in these serious ways... drugs, running away... etc.  and seems to be searching for something missing in her life.. I saw this in my own family where my own parents never really "loved"each other just merely existing with one another.. Both had their own holes in their lives to repair especially my mother ... she was never happy .. They always doted on my brother giving him everything possible.  However, in his search to be happy I believe he made his own choice to medicate his life ... numbing himself with alcohol.. then pot .. and to this day he's a 30 year crack addict.. My parents enabled him as they thought they were HELPING HIM.. but in actuality, it made THEM feel better rather than doing what was best for him.... thus they are now both dead and he is still searching and abusing making excuses .. I truly believe there has been a serious breakdown in our family structure and values... where couples are having children without planning, getting married for the wrong reasons and not really taking marriage and what it stands for seriously and respecting and treating the constitution of marriage as God intended and created it to be.  Not being serious as a parent and realizing that you are completely and totally responsible for a "life".  Teaching them right from wrong and getting caught up in their own problems without realizing how much their actions as parents and adults really affect our children... Although I don't see this first young woman who was on the show has gotten into drugs .. I can only pray for her future that she may come to her senses and rethink her decision to be on the streets... its very very sad.  I pray for this family and families out there that have lost their way... and are suffering each and everyday... 

Aloha & A Hui Hou ... 

  

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