Sad

I once knew a woman ... who NEVER...really found a way to enjoy or see the good in anything.... She grew up... like alot of people these days in what we call a "broken" home.. never knew her Father ... and never spent alot of quality time with her own Mother... and was raised by her Grandmother and Grandfather.  She grew up with little self confidence or inner strength.  She was encouraged by her family although they may have not been her "real"family step or half.. but she always found a way not to accept any joy, comfort, peace ... or contentment.
She wondered through life trying to "find" and push people to pay attention but only proved that she showed her jealousy and self pity.  She went through the normal routine of marriage and gave birth to two children.  Never still finding any joy.. always thinking that she deserved better ... nothing was ever good enough... no mater what was done.   She was extremely over protective over one child by keeping her from everything never allowing her to blossom and grow ... never showing support encouragement, never validating her or her talents or even true love for that matter.. the other was pushed as he was to be a "provider".  She found any and every opportunity to push him and give him everything no matter what it was.. He was given lots of opportunities in life.. but couldn't never deal with life's pressures.. and so he resorted to a life of drug addiction... to medicate and escape stress.  This woman enabled her son continually constantly covering for him and constantly giving him tidbits of help thinking that she wasnt part of the problem... but thats exactly what she was .. a major part of the problem with both her children.. She ALWAYS needed attention.. it was pretty much abnormal ... for an adult ..and a parent to been so needy of attention... as never really grew as a person... it was the same childlike behaviors demanding acceptance and attention... even as an adult.  Always feeling sorry for herself...always looking for that "fairytale" life... soo pathetically sad.. as she made her own children suffer from her own inadequacies ... always parenting out of guilt, never being grateful, thankful, appreciative ... always thinking everyone including God, yes God, owed her something.  It was really miserable to watch ... even to the point where she tried to steal the limelight from her one and only Grandchild... She didn't deserve the privilege of experiencing the wonderful gift of a Grandchild as she destroyed any joy, excitement or happiness... of this beautiful experience.. the jealousy, resentment, bitterness, self pity continued to dominate her life... and she let it .. and wallowed in it.. no matter what positivity was shown to her.  It was like a horrible movie to watch... and couldn't shut off.. The self pity finally consumed her.. she completely cut everyone of her family out.. and chose to accept a complete stranger that gave her attention and saw an opportunity to take advantage of her bitterness.. and literally took everything... without batting an eye... only siding with the bitterness, resentment and self pity.  They were both very much alike... it was really horribly sad to see in progress... but it happened... and unfortunately to her demise.. unfortunately she died alone without family, bitter, alone ... filled with resentment and jealousy... thinking only of herself...what a horrible existence  I used to pray for her... and then ending up just being frustrated ... as she was truly blinded by all her negativity.. I just had to give her to God... Her time her on Earth is finished .. she has to square things up with God herself..  just so very sad...

GODS NOT DEAD

GODS NOT DEAD.. Wow ...  I've been trying to start my days earlier... to spend time ... to sort out thoughts.. quiet meditation.. to be able to work on my Faith and Fitness... my creativity.. I've seen this advertisement for this movie... alot... on social media.. in stores.. ads.. I believe God woke me up today... and it was on ....something made me spend time to watch it .. and BE INSPIRED...

Our lives can take a turn at any moment.. any time.. any direction.. we all are going in different directions.. keeping busy .. with our lives, decisions.. and goals...  

Watching this movie... made me think.. what we do, what we say, how we are, and even what we think ... is affecting people everyday... 24/7 in a negative or a POSITIVE WAY...
AFFECT YOUR DAY in a
a POSITIVE WAY...... in EVERY WAY ...

Its just what I think...










Aloha & A Hui Hou..

Sometimes .. now more than ever I wonder what in the world people are thinking when they decide, do... and act in extremely selfish ridiculous ways... 

unfortunately it sometimes happens in your own family...very very sad...  and in order to keep your own sanity ... you need to literally CUT THEM OUT like a terrible bruise on a banana... 

Its just what I think....

A Hui Hou.. 

Well here I am .... not being consistent ...AGAIN.. man... How in the world... am I supposed start a REAL column or blog.. and get REAL readers... !!! Consistency.. 

is soo important through EVERYTHING and no matter what part of life you're going through.. I just have no idea why its soo difficult .. to BEE CONSISTENT.... but like I said.. we all need to "Never Give Up!!" So I'm gonna keep pushin myself.. and I know I can get this done.. 

Ok till next time... Aloha .. & A Hui Hou!!!

I just don't get it.....

I really just don't get it.. we see it everywhere.. in the news.. celebrities.. singers.. actors ... athletes.. kids.. teenagers.. grown people.. adults.. FAMILY.. WHY.. WHY DO THEY CHOSE TO DO DRUGS????? Are these people just not satisfied with their lives???  What exactly are they looking for???  

 I just dont get it!!!

Its always in the news.. actors overdosing.. celebrities.. young singers.. spending their monies on pot.. crack.. endless monies on this stuff.. and they end up wasting all their monies.. making a bad name for themselves.. not dealing with reality.. and dead on the floor in some hotel somewhere.. wasted.. and DEAD!!! One right after the other..  How do these supposedly smart,  intelligent, talented, well to do people .. get addicted and waste their lives?? Are they that unhappy?? unfulfilled?? bored.. people always looking for more... I guess...... even family members.... continuing to chose drugs .. 

Do these people just have no common sense?? They continue to torture their friends family with binges, worry, anxiety, stress and even death... 
I just don't really understand the attraction.. to continue to chose these awful life changing addictions.. even after these intelligent, strong, talented people see that they are destroying themselves, friends and family .. they continue... to give in to these drugs.. after seeing friends and my own brother destroy himself and our family.. I will NEVER ... NEVER be apart of or enable a drug abuser.. 

God truly gave these people a brain.. to use.. and NOT to ABUSE... 

I don't know... 

It's just what I think.... 

Aloha & A Hui Hou!!!